Work, feelings,

Sometimes the most satisfaction I got from work is the knowledge of a paycheck is on its way. Arranging bits and bytes inside an electronic blob is not always fun. Afterall most of the time all you do is type. I am not a money grabber. I pay for the necessitities and have some extras for books and CDs. The satisfying part is I get something in return for my labor. There is an interesting word in my line of work called integration. It simply means getting different parts to work together. Something like directing traffic. Supposingly you really need a board base of knowledge to know what you are doing but most of the time it is like wizardry. You put a bunch of crap into a pot then stir and pray. I don't know how long I can last in the IT industry. I see some people who are really into this things or at least talk as if they do. I find to do a good job you do need a keen interest in what you do. Me, I prefer to read a book and do nothing... I am feeling awful on and off for the last few weeks. The work I am responsible is not done and is not for a lack of effort. I need others to do things for me and I am not very good at doing that. I cannot walk up to someone and say I need this yesterday and walk away smiling (some people can do that). So things got delayed and I got the blame. I hope after next week things will work out better. One good thing is I am praying more for my work because sometime I do feel helpless. I have not felt this way at work for quite a while. The feeling of tireness from stress is strange. Everything seems more to take effort. The corner store seems miles away even though it is just across the street. You hands feet heavier than usual. Your head seems to look for a place to drop. Sometimes even breathing seems heavy, you want to take more deep breath. Weird... Set a monkey b-card to a friend, I like that card... Another birthday: soon to be Dr S 2405 Type in "cheer me up" in google and got over 700,000 hits, I suppose a lot of people need cheering up. There is just so much crap on the net, yet each was put up there for a reason. depressing quote:

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. Shakespeare